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About Lyon

Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I head back to the shop, and my next client is a kid. He’s nervous, fidgeting in the chair. I’m like, “Chill, buddy! It’s just a haircut.” But he’s got that look, you know? The “I don’t wanna be here” look. I start snippin’, and he suddenly goes, “Do you think I’ll look cool?” I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna look like a rockstar!” He lights up, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

Ben Swift aiming to compete for Tour de France stage wins after Vittel crash